What a fucking waste of an outfit
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
