I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
