and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
