:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
