My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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