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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.

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• (718): View more from New York

  One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.

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  Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.

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• (450): View more from Quebec

  If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to

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  Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.

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• (772): View more from Florida

  Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options

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