In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
