ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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