i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
