Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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