thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
why do cheetos always look like penises
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
