All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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