i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
