I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize