Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
