I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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