What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
