Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize