I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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