hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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