He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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