Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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