just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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