That's intense
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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