I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
