By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
