there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
