Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
