Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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