vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
