You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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