You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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