Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
