his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
