But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
