Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
