i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
