I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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