These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
