My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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