I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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