I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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