I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
