Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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