I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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