we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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