he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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