No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
