"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You can't just leave with hair like that
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
