Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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