Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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