i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
