somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
