you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You're breaking my sexual little heart
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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