Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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