i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
